17 March 2009

Tough Love

No justifications, no explanations, no excuses, though I will offer that some of these things might have been answered if I brought in the amount of material I'd intended to bring in before Life Happened the week before.
For now--possibly from now on--I won't be posting Il Buono, il brutto, il cattivo of what I brought. Every comment I got was either Scene!Win or Scene!Fail. And the Fail list is sooo much longer...

  • Scene I brought was "believeable, in a weird way."
  • The "usual" compliments (smooth writing, believable/snappy dialogue, etc.)
  • Bits were "funny."
(From lowest to highest degree)
  • "Soda" vs. "pop" (vs. "coke")
  • Need to give a little better sense of exactly who the protagonist, by this point.
  • Need to be more explicit about the protagonist's feelings toward his overall situation.
  • Need to show my protagonist's reactions to the fantasy element (good, bad, or indifferent).
  • Confusion about how I described a facet of the fantasy element. (Totally unnecessary confusion, on my part.)
  • The fucking scene doesn't really add anything, leaving some to still ask themselves exactly what the fucking story's really about!!

Hindsight is 20/20, but I'm thinking the reason I forced myself to bring and read 830 words of fail was for the symbolic victory of having written despite the week's obstacles. Obviously, it didn't even qualify as a Pyrric victory. It might've been if I'd have been able to finish more of it--I actually had about 500 more words, but I just couldn't get them polished in time.

I think it's time to drag my Inner Drill Sergeant back out...