Tough Love

I low-balled my wordcount for yesterday's critique group crucifixion session again. 820 words. Just couldn't get the story done, but I did bring something. Better to light an inch than curse the darkness after all, no?

I took bits of the next scene I'd planned and decided to staple it to the end of the scene I brought last time. An obvious decision that you just don't see when you're in the midst of a puke draft. Comments were as follows...

Story Win

• I was a little clearer about the way the tech in this story works.
• Tension was raised
• Like last week, readers like the interaction between the protagonist and his sister.
• I painted a clear picture of the protagonist being a little foolhardy, yet barreling ahead anyway.
• Hm...I made a note of "Not a lot of words," but I've forgotten what that meant...?

Story Fail

• Anything involving the color green and computer coding will always say The Matrix.
• [I'm paraphrasing here] The form of the tech in my story, as I describe it, doesn't follow the function I describe. Or at least, I'm overcomplicating it.
• [Edited to add] I evidently don't know how to spell the singular of lenses.
  

Thank God for the techies in my group, that's all I have to say! :)