The Good
- The group saw a good crescendo in the tension I was trying to build.
- People liked the dialogue. It seemed realistic, they said. Script-like with tons of subtext. The way two brothers would talk to each other.
- Someone commented on certain "little touches" I've added, descriptions about what my characters did while talking. (Hey, it's not for nothing that I read all that Carver, Beattie, and Hempel.)
- I had a scene where the protagonist was listening to one side of a telephone conversation. For one, the conversation was probably too long, since some of the stuff in the conversation was repeated in a subsequent conversation. I got lots of useful suggestions on how to shorten the conversation.
- A comment was made about the unclear relationship between the protagonist and another character--although I think any confusion would be cleared up if the story was read in toto.
- I could've written a certain flashback scene a little better.
- Some plot points I included in the back end of the story would probably better off in the beginning.
Okay, maybe these parts weren't "ugly," but I felt these comments needed special attention. I haven't quite figured out exactly how to incorporate these particular changes yet.
- Someone commented about a scene that takes place in the outdoors. Granted, I didn't read a section that might have fleshed out a description of the outdoors, but I've thought lately to just how much trouble I have writing descriptions. (Call it a consequence of reading all that Carver, Beattie, and Hempel.)
- Okay, so the story involves an unseen enemy. I thought I could refer to it as such, trying not to resort to stuff like, The Unseen Evil That Must Not Be Named. Now, no one suggested for a minute I do that. But, I could really use some sort of consistent tag to use throughout the story.
